AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Saw my first #firefly (lightning bug) tonight whilst taking out the recycling! One even landed on me!

@actuallyautistic

As I was growing up... and, heck, even now, I've had to deal with the constant disapproval of my father. So I learned to mask.

I muted myself.

Because the last thing I wanted was more disapproval from this man. The disapproval was always there, but if didn't express myself, I would avoid having to handle more disapproval than the baseline.

He would sometimes complain that I was quiet and did not speak my mind. That's because I knew, full-well, that if I did speak my mind, I would expose myself to his disapproval. I presented a muted front.

Is it any surprise that I masked so well that I did not realize my autism until I was 50?

So took no risks in front of him. And among the risks I did not take was the risk of producing jokes that he'd disapprove of, for whatever reason. Because, you know. A good son from a good family surely cannot utter such nonsense.

So these days, every joke, or bit of humor on my part, is me being authentically autistic. Gone is the self-censorship. What replaced it is autistic joy.

All my jokes exist because I reject the mask.

Three Good Things:

1) have been able to focus enough to read a bit (F. Scott Fitzgerald's short stories)

2) downstairs neighbor surprised me with homemade veggie calzone?! it was very surprising. also delicious.

3) saw 'my' neighborhood magpies today, and they graciously accepted an offering of peanuts.

Time for #ThreeGoodThings -

1) Just listened to Tash Sultana's new single, and I love it. Link to video: https://youtu.be/y78jTu5lL8U

2) Had veggies and some delicious vegan Korean BBQ style gyoza for lunch. Yum!

3) Reading Virginia Woolf's "Mrs Dalloway". I always feel drawn in by Woolf's ways of writing.

Three Good Things today:

1) my succulent is not just blooming, it's growing... fruit? Seeds? Apparently it's self-pollinating. Yay!

2) dark-chocolate-covered pear jellies (vegan)

3) watching the Live Moon Jelly Cam (Monterey Bay Aquarium)

Three good things:

1) succulent bloom! (see photo below)
2) tasty apple pie
3) blowing soap bubbles (which were appreciated by a kid in a Spiderman shirt, which might be number 4 lol)

Time for #ThreeGoodThings --

1) sunshine.
2) got to work on a project that's close to my heart.
3) finally put together my little #lichen terrarium... the birds have been dislodging so many bits and pieces, I had plenty to choose from.

Now available on YouTube, a pair of #OnlineAutscape2025 “More Autistic Joy” presentations on a fascinating movement that surged in Japan in the last two decades: Tōjisha-kenkyū, in which groups of disadvantaged minorities (including neurodivergent people) systematically discover, develop and take charge of a conceptual framework that describes their experiences, creating a solid base for peer support, advocacy and emancipation.

Watch them both at: https://youtu.be/xpD_02AWuxE

let's have another go at the #ThreeGoodThings ...
1) made sushi for lunch today, and my rolling skills are improving. plus it was tasty.
2) the amaryllis I neglected last year is nonetheless gracing me with new leaves and a flower bud!
3) got myself some craft supplies to work / play with.
#3GoodThings #autisticJoy

Now up on YouTube, an #OnlineAutscape2025 “More Autistic Joy” presentation: “Sensory joy to the rescue: emotional containers and portable safe spaces” by Alicja Nocon.

Watch: https://youtu.be/1ArUdA_ZJio

Worksheet: https://www.autscape.org/2025/programme/handouts/sensory-joy-worksheet.pdf

“It's well-known that having a more sensitive nervous system means that autistic people experience more sensory triggers and are more easily dysregulated. But what if we could use our sensory sensitivity to our advantage to bring a sense of peace and joy to helps us get through difficult experiences? In this presentation, I will share a number of practical ways using sensory joy to help contain overwhelming emotions and prepare for unfamiliar of predictably stressful situations, based on my own experience and the experiences of my clients.”

Now online, one of the #OnlineAutscape2025 Lightning Talks: ‘Màiri Mhòr nan Òran: Gaelic poet, songwriter and activist’, by Max Marnau.
https://youtu.be/9E6QxbJNRSI

Now available on YouTube, an #OnlineAutscape2025 “More Autistic Joy” performance:

On the 7th of February at 20:30 GMT/UTC, autistic stand-up poet and BBC Radio 4 regular Kate Fox performed some of her pieces from last year’s hit Autscape show, the Dr Who-themed “Bigger on the Inside”, plus other poems which invoke autistic joy!

Content warning: Profanity, explicit references to sex.
Watch it at: https://youtu.be/c3_aYD89TUI

Now available on YouTube, an #OnlineAutscape2025 “More Autistic Joy” presentation:

On the 7th of February at 20:00 GMT/UTC, Jorik Mol, “professionally autistic”, presented “Now I wanna think about all the good times – The joys of Breaking the Boundaries”.

Watch now at: https://youtu.be/88-EGSq_dmg

Slides with clickable read-along links: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1qEl3c4O8bVsB-oJ9lhLi-PCbRkV6Fbq6zZtx29cCOjk/edit#slide=id.g32b2dc19ab3_0_274

“Jorik's first book of 2025 is Breaking the Boundaries, describing his experiences as a lived experience mentor of autistic higher education students. These stories highlight the particular joys of being neuroqueer and finding one's community, gender joy, the joy of art, the joy of hyperfocus and the joy of fighting the good fight.”

Now available on YouTube, an #OnlineAutscape2025 “More Autistic Joy” presentation:

On the 7th of February at 19:30 GMT/UTC, Polish autistic special pedagogue Joanna Ławicka, Ph.D. presented “The joy of autistic parenting: how to build healthy and safe attachment in an autistic family”.

Watch now at: https://youtu.be/0Ht86QJeiKE

“I would like to present what attitudes of parents support building a secure attachment with an autistic child and how, as an autistic parent, to cope with your own, usually difficult life experience so as to be able to create a safe space and bond for your children. I will show what hinders us and how to make it easier.”

Now available on YouTube, an #OnlineAutscape2025 “More Autistic Joy” presentation:

On the 7th of February at 19:00 GMT/UTC, Harriet Axbey presented “Joyful Degrees: Autistic Adjustments at University”. It was the first presentation of the event.

Watch now at: https://youtu.be/C35yQHSk3cw

“Autistic students at university face many challenges; from applying to graduating, there are barriers in higher education that affect those who are neurodivergent. However, universities are starting to realise this, and there is now a growing body of research into adjustments that can help Autistic people to thrive in a higher education setting. For my new book, I contacted universities to ask what provision they had for Autistic students, and complied some experiences from Autistic people themselves. In this lecture I will outline some of the things that universities can do, and are currently doing, to ensure Autistic students can get the most out of their education.”

if you need a quick break - or a longer one -and you can't just head outside right now, - might i suggest this:

https://www.tree.fm

it's a place where you can listen to trees / forests across the globe. Sometimes there are birds, or wind, or insects can be heard, but always trees.

I adore trees. They are soothing and reassuring. They help me slow down. Maybe they can do the same for you?

Registration for #OnlineAutscape2025 closes today at 16:00 GMT (which is 4pm UK time), so there's just over four hours left to register as of the time of this post! Links to everything (Zoom, Discord, TeamUp) will be sent to registered participants shortly after that.

Here's one last event highlight post. We've filled all twelve slots for five-minute Lightning Talks! In the image you can see some of the lightning talk presenters and a list of titles.

This autistic-led, autistic-run event is on from the 7th to the 9th.
Schedule & info: https://www.autscape.org/2025/programme/schedonline
Registration: https://www.autscape.org/2025/registration/

We've got just over 130 folks registered so far (update: 150+)! This is shaping up to be a great three days of online autistic community. Can we have one last boost for the last-minute deciders among us? Many thanks :)

Dear @actuallyautistic folks, I hope it is okay for me to briefly mention #Autscape here.

We're all autistic/neurodivergent and have organised residential autistic-led events in the UK for two decades.

We've got an international autistic-led *online* event on this weekend, #OnlineAutscape2025 “More #AutisticJoy”. Fee: £20. All money raised goes towards the cost of future events.

We'll have presentations, performances and community! See https://www.autscape.org/2025/programme/schedonline

Please follow @autscape. Thanks!