When I was in my twenties, I was repeatedly denied a medically necessary hysterectomy because I might “meet a man who wants kids”.

I was left completely disabled, forced to undergo six surgeries, multiple blood & iron transfusions to preserve a diseased uterus for a HYPOTHETICAL child.

This happened in Canada, where we tend to be more Liberal than our neighbours to the South.

I was cishet and white, so faced less barriers to care than marginalized people do.

I still wasn’t permitted to make a decision about my own body.

Wasn’t trusted to know my own mind

I had zero quality of life. There was no way I could have been a mother even if I HAD wanted to (which I didn’t).

Yet a hypothetical future husband’s needs and desires were repeatedly put before my own.

I was told I would feel differently once I was “in love”. That my dream man would leave me

Basically imagine every misogynistic and patriarchal nonsense you’ve ever been told… I heard it all.

I watched my twenties slip away from a hospital bed, confused and disheartened by the fact that I couldn’t convince any doctors to let me make the choice that was best for my life & body

I eventually did get the hysterectomy, but only because I was literally bleeding to death.

What could have been a planned & controlled operation was done as an emergency and left me with tons of complications.

Autonomy doesn’t exist for uterus owners. And we’re losing more each day

I tell this story because I feel sick over what’s happening to Adriana Smith in Georgia.

She was a black nurse who tried to seek medical care. She was dismissed and it cost her life.

Now because of an abortion ban her body is being kept alive for a 9 week old fetus.

Her family had no say in the matter. She’s been turned into an incubator by the State. Had “care” forced upon her despite the fact that she couldn’t access proper care when she was alive.

The same day I found out about Adriana, I discovered that police in the UK are being given guidance on how to search a woman’s home & devices for any reference to abortion after a pregnancy loss.

Choice is an illusion. So is autonomy. And it shouldn’t be.

I don’t know where we go from here, but I do know that if I faced a battle to obtain a hysterectomy, more marginalized people living in less Liberal areas have it far far worse.

We need to tell our stories. I’ve told this story before, and I’m going to keep telling it until none of us suffer this way.

For the Adriana’s who can’t tell their story. For those we’ve lost and will lose. For the next generation.

We need to keep fighting for true autonomy. We need to support each other.

We need to make it clear that we do not agree with patriarchal fascist means of controlling our reproductive organs and by extension, our lives.

When we share stories, we help others know they aren’t alone. We educate people on how far we are from equality. We change hearts and minds