His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools - the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans - and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, ‘You can’t trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there’s nothing you can do about it, so let’s have a drink.’ (Small Gods)

‘I still don’t see how one god can be a hundred thunder gods. They all look different...’
‘False noses.’
‘What?’
‘And different voices. I happen to know Io’s got seventy different hammers. Not common knowledge, that. And It’s just the same with mother goddesses. There’s only one of ‘em. She just got a lot of wigs and of course it’s amazing what you can do with a padded bra.’ (Small Gods)

She walked quickly through the darkness with the frank stride of someone who was at least certain that the forest, on this damp and windy night, contained strange and terrible things and she was it.
(Wyrd Sisters)

Absurd

https://youtu.be/oAdnN0TDZ5w?si=SAJMatLn6d_s6ovM

Who would not rather be a rising ape than a falling angel?

‘Do you know how wizards like to be buried?’
‘Yes!’
‘Well, how?’
Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs. ‘Reluctantly.’
(Equal Rites)

»Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!« #TerryPratchett #NoKings

In the night time streets of Ankh-Morpork caution is an absolute. There is no such thing as moderately cautious. You are either very cautious, or you are dead. You might be walking around and breathing, but you’re dead, just the same.
(Guards Guards)

'I always live in interestin' times,' said Cohen, in the satisfied voice of someone who did a lot to keep them interesting. (Interesting Times)

People who would not believe a High Priest if he said the sky was blue, and was able to produce signed affidavits to this effect from his white-haired old mother and three Vestal virgins, would trust just about anything whispered darkly behind their hand by a complete stranger in a pub. (Maskerade)

'... if you do know Right from Wrong you can't choose Wrong. You just can't do it and live.' (Maskerade)

Remembered this #TerryPratchett quote. No particular reason, just (waves at everything)
And they acted like savages*.
*...when people...use this term they are not, for some inexplicable reason, trying to suggest that the subjects have a rich oral tradition, a complex system of tribal rights and a deep respect for the spirits of their ancestors. They are implying the kind of behaviour more generally associated, oddly enough, with people wearing a full suit of clothes, often with the same insignia

You couldn’t put off the inevitable. Because sooner or later, you reached the place where the inevitable just went and waited. (Small Gods)

The person on the other side was a young woman. Very obviously a young woman. There was no possible way that she could have been mistaken for a young man in any language, especially Braille. (Maskerade)

Announcing the 2026 Discworld Convention! Taking place from 7th - 10th August 2026 at the Leonardo Hotel, Hinckley Island, Leicestershire.

Stay tuned for more news coming soon!!
https://2024.dwcon.org/contact/stay-informed-about-the-2026-convention/

‘I didn’t know they were noble,’ said Io.
‘They’re all very rich and have had millions of people butchered or tortured to death merely for reasons of expediency and pride,’ said the Lady.
The watching gods nodded solemnly. That was certainly noble behaviour. That was exactly what they would have done. (Interesting Times)

Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.

... The first frost of the season, a petal nipping, fruit-withering little scorcher that showed you why they called Nature a mother ... (Maskerade)

‘You stay here. I’ll whistle if it’s safe to follow me.’
‘What will you do if it isn’t safe?’
‘Scream.’
(Pyramids)