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#cptsd

10 posts9 participants0 posts today

Just started listening to the audiobook for "healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors: overcoming internal self-alienation" by Janina Fisher.

I just started it but there's already a line I like: "what is it like to live in a body organized to expect annihilation or abandonment." 🎯

Another part talks about "internal wars", which I very much relate to. I'm often filled with contradictory wants: want to learn x programming thing while deeply not wanting to, wanting to use and knowing that it's bad for me and I shouldn't, wanting to take care of an annoying thing and not wanting to do it, wanting to be more social and not wanting it, etc.

She uses internal parts analysis, which i definitely related to: the lazy part vs the mean parent part, the compulsive/addicted part, the evil self-hate/self-destructive part, the total collapse and given up part, etc.

The purpose of the book seems to be to help the trauma survivor have an integrated self with a compassionate inner part that can provide support when the person is having a hard time, and not react with shame/abuse directed towards the self. that sounds like it would be really nice!

I've built up a bit of a "nicer, more supportive, less impulsive, more reflective inner parent" this year (starting from having nothing on the inside that could provide that perspective. The only inner parent I ever had was a mean one by whose metric I was never doing enough and was always failing), but it's still hard and I still have struggles in this arena.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to hearing what she has to say.

#CPTSD#trauma#PTSD

Except unfortunately, *I* did know.

As a child I tried so hard not to believe it. How could those who “love” you, treat one that way?

So I took all that blame and turned it towards myself.

Hence, why many of those who taught me that lesson, still walk the earth today.

#cPTSD#Abuse#Trauma

Mmmmm : tea & scones with clotted cream for breakfast! With gratitude to : the friends who brought me this delicacy as a present from UK via Lisbon ; my adult children who are having their own lives so I can stop saving the best bits for them ; my supporters in #recovery - who empower me & make it possible for me to: take care of myself ; treat myself with kindness (that I would usually extend to others) ; meet my own needs ; focus on me; love myself ; be brave! #burnout #CPTSD #ADHD #menopause

"recovery is not just about sobriety. Real recovery is about finding healthy attachment. Because if you don't, you keep going back to activities and chemicals that give feelings of attachment." - therapist Tim Fletcher

youtu.be/DsB6rDP0Zk4?si=toXzUI

Don't forget that healthy attachment can happen with yourself, so even if you don't have people around with whom you can feel safe, you can create that within yourself. I also experience healthy attachment with the land and the garden - i don't think therapists talk much about that, but the land/ocean/nature can provide healthy attachment too.

"[…] Although the prevalence of false memories of child abuse in child care centers was largely exaggerated, the "witch hunt narrative" continues to be kept alive by some media, academic, and textbook discussions about dissociation and child abuse. Researchers who have analyzed textbooks have consistently concluded that much of the information about child maltreat-ment, child abuse memories, and DDs is inaccurate, biased, sensationalized, and/or not empirically based (Brand et al., 2019a; Kissee et al., 2014; Wilgus et al., 2015). Undergraduate and graduate psychology textbooks typically include relatively little coverage about TRDs and DDs, and many include factually inaccurate or sensationalized information rather than evidence-based research (Brand et al., 2019a; Wilgus et al., 2015). Some authors of psychology textbooks only present research that shows that memories can be in-accurate, failing to present research that documents that delayed recollections of child abuse are as likely to be accurate as they are inaccurate (Dalenberg, 1996, 2006; Williams, 1995). In fact, many of the most prominent authors who previously challenged the accuracy of delayed recollections of abuse have recently admitted they are now "open to the possibility that some recovered memories are genuine" (Lynn et al., 2014, p. 23). Recent reviews of this debate are available (e.g., Brand et al., 2017a, 2017b, 2018; Dalenberg et al., 2012, 2014; Lynn et al., 2014; Merckelbach & Patihis, 2018).

In a climate where many academics and textbooks tend to present sensationalized portrayals of DDs and only one side of the debate about the accuracy of child abuse memories, there is less open-minded discussion, training, and research about child abuse and its im-pact, including dissociation and DDs. One impact of this biased presentation is that people who have already been victimized in childhood and/or adulthood may suffer longer with TRD, poor quality of life, and a host of other sequelae of trauma. They are also at risk for encountering mental health and health care professionals who challenge the validity of their symptoms and DD (Nester, Hawkins & Brand, 2022). For example, 80% of Australian patients diagnosed with a DD reported they had experienced skeptical or antagonistic attitudes from clinicians about their DD diagnosis or dissociative symptoms (Leonard et al., 2005).

Survivors of childhood abuse often experience disbelief, being blamed for the abuse, or a lack of compassion and/or protection if they have the courage to reveal the abuse. For example, 52% of women who revealed to a parent that they were being incestuously abused in childhood reported that the abuse continued for 1 year or longer after disclosure (Roesler & Wind, 1994), and many received reactions that blamed them rather than the abuser (McTavish et al., 2019; Roesler & Wind, 1994; Romano et al., 2019).

Trauma survivors should not encounter damaging reactions when they seek assistance from the very professionals who are supposed to help them, not further compound their distress."

-- The Finding Solid Ground Program Workbook: Overcoming Obstacles in Trauma Recovery. 2022. Oxford University Press. doi.org/10.1093/med-psych/9780

I read a lot about effective communication skills, thinking before speaking, responding without reacting, and such. I've been working on my cPTSD for over 10 years now, both in therapy and on my own, but I still react poorly at times, and lash out at people.

My response feels rational at the time. I don't realize that it's not until much later.

I'm continuing to work at it, but I'm also trying to accept that I'm just going to respond in a way that I don't like, and that others don't like. It adds to my anxiety and depression, not knowing when I'm going to suddenly react poorly, and not knowing if my job or relationships will decide to punish me for it.

For anyone struggling with depression, anxiety, CPTSD, executive dysfunction, self-hatred, shame, and other similar things, remember that your experience of yourself is totally different from how others experience you - especially if you keep most of your "bad thoughts" inside.

This can be hard to remember in the middle of a shame spiral, but if you struggle to get what people see in you and why they stick around, it can be a helpful counterbalance to negative thoughts.

Continued thread

Hi, I'm Sabi

I'm Disabled and the sole caretaker for my elderly mother and our Emotional Support #Bunny

I'm a cis #Latina femme without children - I'm left for dead because I refused to be a baby factory for the #facist death machine

I refuse to lay down and die
I can't apply for #SSDI because I've never been privileged to afford health care to "prove" disability

I have #CPTSD, chronic illnesses and #scoliosis

#211 left me for dead claiming they would help me from Nov 2023 - Mar 2024

🖕211

YouTubeCrappy Childhood FairyMy name is Anna Runkle: I teach people to recognize and heal the symptoms of Childhood PTSD. I'm not a doctor or therapist. I’m someone who grew up with several alcoholics in the family, and all the dynamics that tend to go with that -- poverty, neglect, violence, and an environment of chronic, deep stress. In adulthood, the telltale signs of Childhood PTSD were all there -- health problems, depression and anxiety, relationship struggles -- but traditional therapies never seemed to help. When I found what DID help, my whole life changed. For more than 29 years I’ve been teaching a program that anyone can use, whether or not they have access to professional help. I focus first on healing dysregulation, and then on changing the self-defeating behaviors that are so common for those of us traumatized as kids. I'm glad you're here!