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#fightorflight

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I am fighting my #FightOrFlight response right now harder than I have in months. I didn't realize that, if I don't fall into the fight/flight trap (or at least not hard all the way to the bottom), I get chest pains and a headache so bad I wish I had just screamed and been done with it. It's like someone jabbing an ice pick directly into the center of my chest -- repeatedly.

Screaming or running away seems so much easier than retaining this kind of tension.
I didn't realize until now how easy fight/flight is compared to the alternative. Having severe #mentalhealth issues, fight/flight is a necessity of survival, but I also want to try to #survive by just weathering storms and not cutting ties and burning bridges.

I mean I'm going to be 41 in a few weeks, I know I've been #BurningBridges for decades (and had no issues with it) to save my mental health, but there comes a point in #middleage (yep sorry people, most of us aren't living past 80) where you wonder if burning those bridges makes as much sense as it did in the past.
Possibly it does, but now and then, I like to see if things have changed.

Not so sure anything has though.