Don't want to pay for [INSERT NAME OF STREAMING SERVICE OR CABLE CHANNEL HERE]? Now you can pirate their content directly from the internet the way Almighty Ba'al intended.
#subtoot
Seriously, ask me how. I am possessed of the old magics, the ones we lost when "streaming" became a thing. Not only that, I'm not guilty about it at all. I'm far too busy surviving to give a fuck anymore. I will share this eldritch arcana with you because the world is a garbage fire and none of us are going to make it out alive. You shouldn't give your money to Netflix or Disney or HBO. Ever.
I'm not philosophical about this. I genuinely am out of fucks to give about piracy and I want you to have my knowledge at rock-bottom prices ($0.00 is pretty rock-bottom).
If you lurch awkwardly into my mentions to tell me that I'm a bad person who is stealing money from your children's mouths, you should know that the CEO of Disney made a shit-ton of money last year. Argue with him.